摘小诗一首。多年前在朋友的笔记本上见过。
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北美 于 2000/06/18 19:25:54 发表在 汉英
Carl Sandburg. 1878*C
Fog
THE fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
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摘小诗两首。多年前分别在大学的黑板和课桌上见过。:-)))
作者:wq - 2000/06/19 02:15:48
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雾
卡尔 桑伯
雾象
猫儿
蹑手蹑脚
来了
蹲着
往
下
看
看
港口
城市
不声不响
走了
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黑板上的, 不知是否原创还是抄录的
风铃
哪里的风铃
轻轻唱着风的声音
却看不见风
也看不见风铃
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课桌上的打油诗(无题)
当冬天刮起凛冽寒风
吹冻了你的俏丽面容
我真愿做一条懒虫
和你一起瑟瑟过冬
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请教隐前辈或其他高手, 如何"往下看看"?
作者:wq - 2000/06/19 02:26:44
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我想把上面"蹲着 往下看看" 排成下面的格式:
蹲着
....往
......下
........看
..........看
结果字前空格不起作用, 排成了竖直一线, 可有办法?
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改两个字, 好玩
作者:wq - 2000/06/19 05:57:10
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中间一段, 改成
静静地
蹲着
朝
、下
、、看
、、、看
(仍不会加空格, 姑用顿号代替)
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无空格更好。有种“袅袅凭诗绕”的感觉。
作者:LL - 2000/06/19 18:31:19
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一语顿悟, 谢谢
作者:wq - 2000/06/20 02:03:03
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赵爷爷说“我来晚啦!”
作者:Last Hermit - 2000/06/20 10:12:07
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把中文空格拷贝下来,即可:
蹲着
往
下
看
看
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Meunique
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What a clever solution!
作者:wq - 2000/06/20 10:23:56
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赵爷爷说“我来晚啦!”
作者:Last Hermit - 2000/06/20 10:12:46
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把中文空格拷贝下来,即可:
蹲着
往
下
看
看
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Meunique
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无题
作者:tian xin - 2000/06/19 03:49:09
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当冬天刮起凛冽寒风
吹冻了你的俏丽面容
我真愿做一条懒虫
和你一起瑟瑟过冬
Your rosy face turns icy firm
when winter's cutting wind doth blow
I do wish I were a lazy worm
crawling close to warm your little toe
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Much much better than the original. O, lovely "warm your little toe"!
作者:wq - 2000/06/19 04:00:54
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黑板上的;笔记本上的... "而那逝去的,都成为可爱":)
作者:bm - 2000/06/19 16:24:16
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"此情可待成追忆, 只是当时已惘然", 没有刻意去记的东西, 反而就是象昨天
作者:wq - 2000/06/20 02:07:21
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A foggy interpretation
作者:Lady of the Lake - 2000/06/19 03:22:57
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Fog
THE fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
It is as simple as it looks, yet to write a little poem like this and make it work must require considerable poetical talent. By identifying fog with cat, the poem brings out the animate quality of cat--it comes and looks and moves on, as well as the inanimate quality of cat, since the cat is so silent and stealthy. Poetry comes in where the interplay of the two images takes place. This is an impressionist poem, capturing a perception with a few strokes of a brush rather than expounding an abstract idea. It almost has an oriental flavour to it, reminding me of the Japanese haiku.
Sweet poem to teach your grandkids on a misty summer morning overlooking our Swan Lake.
Welcome back on board beimei, and thank you and wq for both the English and Chinese versions.
More translations of various styles are invited!
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Pleasant to read and good to learn, your comment gave a meaning to this little poem. Thanks, Lady of the Lake.
作者:bm - 2000/06/19 16:26:51
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很喜欢wq的中译,即使不看内容,只看文字自上而下缭绕的样子,就如薄雾轻起于水上。我试着将它写成横幅,又如浓雾漫漫于江边。为响应社长的号召:百花齐放,我赶紧将狗尾巴花这席位抢...
作者:Honeyfox - 2000/06/19 08:20:06
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雾
卡尔 桑伯
薄雾起清晨,猫步寂无声。
袅袅凭江绕,轻笼港与城。
街巷无人影,梦语偶相闻。
待得恹恹起,雾散未留痕。
唉!打油门人总不脱打油之气,请诸位见谅。
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好一个℃猫部寂无声℃!您的雾简直是风流入骨嘛:)!另:极喜欢您对围译的点评,寥寥数字,尽得诗趣。
作者:Lady of the Lake - 2000/06/19 16:59:58
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本坛曾一度蒙一可爱Cat光顾,乐得爱猫者如tian xin,渔夫等又打油又烧鱼。而今却曲终猫不见,‘雾散未留痕’,湖畔空余爱猫吟:
作者:tian xin - 2000/02/01 16:35:40 ***
Upon my lap
my sovereign sat
purring me hymns
hearing me chat
her eyes brown
her nose flat
For a blissful life
How is that?
My hateful neighbour
bought a brat
wooing my love
feeding her fat
sending her poems
buying her hat
My eyes green
my heart sad
I can't bear
it driving me mad
There's my darling
sitting on his mat
O that cunning tom cat
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作者:渔夫 - 2000/02/01 22:44:48 ***
Upon my lap
my sovereign sat
purring me hymns
hearing me chat
her eyes brown
her nose flat
For a blissful life
How is that?
欢喜小冤家
端坐吾膝上
听我温软语
对我述衷肠
鼻子扁且圆
眼睛黑又亮
卿卿复侬侬
快乐无思量
My hateful neighbour
bought a brat
wooing my love
feeding her fat
sending her poems
buying her hat
可恨有吾邻
巧语花心郎
一献脂油肥
又献诗荒唐
再献绫罗衣
甜言加蜜糖
My eyes green
my heart sad
I can't bear
it driving me mad
There's my darling
sitting on his mat
O that cunning tom cat
吾心一何苦
吾情一何伤
夺吾心之爱
相逼太猖狂
好你个狡猾奸诈的大灰狼
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“猫步寂无声”。Sorry for that.
作者:LL - 2000/06/19 18:03:10
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Aha! 渔夫君的译文好得out of sight=cool! 令人高山仰止。
作者:bm - 2000/06/20 18:45:26
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北美君不会是影射俺那“300磅”的高山吧:)。。。
作者:渔夫 - 2000/06/20 19:46:05
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猫猫
它轻轻地去
正如它轻轻地来
挥一挥手
作别天边的云彩
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妙极!能否以“爪”代劳? :))
作者:clown - 2000/06/20 19:52:17
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哪里!您这样问,咱只好说了:暗想渔夫君一定是翩翩美少年。
作者:bm - 2000/06/20 20:27:54
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喜欢猫猫这个名字,也来几句:
猫猫
早晨你是雾
是穿着白纱的仙女
轻轻来,轻轻去
晚上你是风
柔柔地吹着
来时无声,去时无声
中午你在沙发上
懒懒地闭上眼
一动不动,一动不动
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请汉英保留此帖24小时,明天俺再来辟谣:)
作者:渔夫 - 2000/06/20 22:06:40
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不见辟谣, 必美少年无疑!:-) 如切如磋, 如琢如磨...
作者:wq - 2000/06/22 10:49:56
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呵呵。又切又琢的,敢情打磨俺的沙皮脸哪?曾经一少年,如今已翩翩,俺是青皮红心水灵灵的一个心里美。
作者:渔夫 - 2000/06/22 11:15:59
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Thanks HF. Great! ( 鸭子们还在山坡吃草,天鹅们却不知哪儿去了?)
作者:bm - 2000/06/19 16:34:19
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有了雾诗,哪位可找到雪、雨、风(等)的诗?社长意下如何?
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来首“土块与卵石”如何?
作者:tian xin - 2000/06/19 18:24:47
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又见贝尔:
William Blake
The Clod & the Pebble
"Love seeketh not Itself to please,
"Nor for itself hath any care
"But for another gives its ease
"And builds a Heaven in Hell's despair."
So sang a little Clod of Clay
Trodden with the cattle's feet,
But a Pebble of the brook
Warbled out these metres meet:
"Love seeketh only Self to please,
"To bind another to Its delight,
"Joys in another's loss of ease,
"And builds a Hell in Heaven's despite."
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又见英国贝尔,喜登诗人客船。有意思的土块和鹅卵石
作者:bm - 2000/06/19 20:19:21
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(请指正)
William Blake
The Clod & the Pebble
"Love seeketh not Itself to please,
"Nor for itself hath any care
"But for another gives its ease
"And builds a Heaven in Hell's despair."
So sang a little Clod of Clay
Trodden with the cattle's feet,
But a Pebble of the brook
Warbled out these metres meet:
"Love seeketh only Self to please,
"To bind another to Its delight,
"Joys in another's loss of ease,
"And builds a Hell in Heaven's despite."
土块与鹅卵石
“爱不是追求自身的利益,
“也不是为了任何目的
“它应该为了对方着想
“在地狱的绝望中造个天堂。”
伴着老牛的悠悠步履
土块哼着上面的心曲,
但是小溪里的鹅卵石,
却汨汨唱出另一番意志:
“爱嘛就是为了自己,
“对方要适应本人的兴趣,
“欢乐需要对方的舍弃,
“在天堂的蔑视中造个地狱。”
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谢北美天鹅
作者:Lady of the Lake - 2000/06/20 01:42:17
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A typical text with an open-ending. It offers two opposite views without trying to judge. Each seems right in its own right. A conventional interpretation will probably regard the Clod as good and righteous and discard the Pebble as bad and undesirable. But doesn't any moralizing miss what the poem does? --making a song out of two contrary aspects of human experience. One part of you wants to be slave of love, one part the dancing lord of the universe. Our categorising mind normally separates them, but isn't exciting to see the Clod and Pebble singing together?
I'm gonna add a few lines in support of the Pebble, just to show what bad influence a poem can have on a person as moralistic as the Lady of the Lake:
Listen to the warbling of my heart
Why should lovers be kept apart
Another's ease or despair
I don't feel nor do I care
A proverb from Hell gives me freedom:
The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom*
* from Proverbs of Hell, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell by William Blake
Beimei's translation is as faithful as it is beautiful, capturing the conversational and humorous quality of the original poem very well. Thank you.
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Arise from the office grave, and aspire where the swans can go!
作者:bm - 2000/06/20 08:04:08
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Equally as moralistic as the Lake Lady, I believe the two contrary aspects of human experience can be combined/mixed in one person, too.
As sincere and faithful as the Clog is, he/she is very plain.
(Quote Mrs. Browning)"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways:"
He doesn't have color;
He cannot pose;
He is afraid of rain (practically he falls apart in an instant at the romantic scene).
As vicious and selfish as the Pebble, he does posses a few things one may want to cast a look at:
He is smoothly built:);
He is strong.
He sings and dances in teh rain, in any scale of storm...
And something else a lady of virtue will not discuss here:)
时间关系,来不及引用原文,草译 “Proverbs of Hell, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell"
请听鹅卵石的我的歌吟心声
为什么情人们要克制收敛
她是否舒心或伤痛
我感觉不到也不去管
地狱的箴语给我自由
放纵之路引我到智慧的宫殿
(谢tian xin, your insights have been inspirational. 谢px, your kind, sweet words make my day!)
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纠正:请听鹅卵石我的歌吟心声 (Haste makes waste!)
作者:bm - 2000/06/20 08:07:48
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Proverb from Heaven
作者:LL - 2000/06/20 16:42:17
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What inspiring comments to read after a morning walk in the mid-winter fog! You made me laugh heartily. And the translation simply superb! However, I'm gonna add another few lines on behalf of the Clod, to balance the immoral influence of my last one and appease ladies of real virtue:)
Listen to the language of my heart
What must part, must part
As one loves, one does care
Be it in hell or heaven fair
Humble clay in lowly mire
To be a lady of virtue I aspire
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让俺也试试!
作者:地狱来客 - 2000/06/20 20:53:04
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Listen to the language of my heart
What must part, must part
As one loves, one does care
Be it in hell or heaven fair
Humble clay in lowly mire
To be a lady of virtue I aspire
土块吐心声
请君侧耳听
好事常多磨
离合皆天意
也作高洁吟
卑微如沼泥
爱人似爱己
天堂复地狱
化土融大地
芳魂向淑女
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也来宰割一番。。。
作者:渔夫 - 2000/06/20 21:34:21
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Listen to the language of my heart
What must part, must part
As one loves, one does care
Be it in hell or heaven fair
Humble clay in lowly mire
To be a lady of virtue I aspire
愿心的呼喊
留得脚步匆匆
任天地无情
爱就爱到心痛
冬泥春雨夏风
凌波我自婷婷
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也许“春泥夏雨秋风”更好一些。社长,俺交差啦。
作者:渔夫 - 2000/06/20 21:47:59
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谢渔夫君!再创作超出了原作水平 :)。地狱来客怎么却象从上面来的:)
作者:LL - 2000/06/21 06:54:56
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同感!
作者:px - 2000/06/21 08:36:43
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渔夫君捞诗胜过捕鱼,
地狱君身手的确了不起,
LL君双脚离地跳得高!:-)))
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喜见又一贝尔:-)
作者:px - 2000/06/20 06:43:09
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下班回到家中,看到北美君译笔极美的“又见贝尔”:-),甚是温馨。耳听朴实无华的土块哼唱的心曲,又有几分惬意:-)) “在地狱的绝望中造个天堂”,犹如“在暴风雨的肆虐中张开避风的港湾,迎入漂泊的客船”:-)))......
很喜欢!喜欢“贝尔”的原诗,喜欢“又一贝尔”的译笔,喜欢推荐“贝尔”之诗的湖畔夫人的评议!请接受px的敬意,与“贝尔”有关的天鹅们,好样的!
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px妹,再次谢您的夸奖。
作者:bm - 2000/06/20 18:31:00
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我的翻译兴趣已随“地狱箴言”消失,您可有兴趣译“天堂之语”(Proverb from the Heaven)?
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