何方飘来的情书，供广大语言关怀者研究研究
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野草 于 2000/07/13 14:31:20 发表在 汉英
适才收到一位严肃的翻译朋友转来的一封“情书”，今贴出供语言爱好者欣赏。能猜出情书作者最可能在地球的哪个角落吗？如果要让只懂英语的语言工作者体会体会这封“情书”的语言特性，令其也能与咱们同笑同乐同摇头，该如何翻译得恰当逼真呢？......欢迎有兴趣的各路兵马上阵！对了，许久不见老刘出现。假如老刘在此，定有高招出。老刘您躲哪儿去了？
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一位朋友在岁末街头行走时，北风刮起，空中飘来一信。启之为一情书，唯行文起承转合甚有规律，文法时髦，疑出自某善作年末总结的公仆或秘书之手笔。
现抄录于下：
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亲爱的齐：
我们的感情，在组织的亲切关怀下，在领导的亲自过问下，一年来正沿着健康的道路蓬勃发展。这主要表现在：
一) 我们共通信121 封，平均3.01天一封。其中你给我的信51封，占42.1%；我给你的 信70封，占57.9%。每封信平均1502字，最长的达5215字，最短的也 有624字。
二) 约会共98次，平均3.7天一次。其中你主动约我38次，占38.7%；我主动约你60次，占61.3%。每次约会平均3.8小时。
三) 我到你家看望你父母38次，平均每9.4天一次，你到我家看望我父母 36次，平均10天一次。
以上充分证明一年来的交往我们已形成了恋爱的共识，我们爱情的主流是互相了解、互相关心、互相帮助，是平等互利的。当然，任何事务都是一分为二的，缺点的存在是不可避免的。我们二人虽然都是积极的，但从以上的数据看，发展还不太平衡，积极性还存在一定的差距，这是前进中的缺点。相信在新的一年里，我们一定会发扬成绩、克服缺点、携手前进，开创我们爱情的新局面。
因此，我提出三点意见供你参考：
(一) 要围绕一个爱字，
(二) 要狠抓一个亲字，
(三) 要落实一个合字。
让我们弘扬团结拼搏的精神，共同振兴我们的爱情，争取达到一个新高度，登上一个新台阶。本着“我们的婚事我们办，办好婚事为我们”的精神，共创辉煌。
你的小惠
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实在好玩儿！我猜英文要译成年度财政报告或法律文件的样子肯定很逗。
作者：he zi - 2000/07/13 17:32:18
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等着拜读野草，laoliu等诸君的译文！希望laoliu也早点“他打姨妈”:-)
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Long time no Chinese- to- English! My brick-version of the last part of this exceptional love letter.
作者：bm - 2000/07/13 19:09:26
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因此，我提出三点意见供你参考：
(一) 要围绕一个爱字，
(二) 要狠抓一个亲字，
(三) 要落实一个合字。
让我们弘扬团结拼搏的精神，共同振兴我们的爱情，争取达到一个新高度，登上一个新台阶。本着“我们的婚事我们办，办好婚事为我们”的精神，共创辉煌。
Given all the things above, I have three propositions for you to consider:
1. Let all we do be for the word “love”;
2. Hold tightly to the word “kiss”;
3. Implement literally the words “two-in-one”.
Let’s strengthen our striving efforts as a team to promote the love we share in order to reach up to a new height, and step further to a new level. In the spirit of “we take our own wedding well in hand and a good wedding will forever serve us”, we shoot for glory: ) !
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Alternatives:
作者：The Yeti - 2000/07/13 22:21:11
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(i) Build our life around "Love".
(ii) Consolidate it with "Intimacy". (Or "Enrich it with Intimacy")
and
(iii) Legalized it with "Marriage".
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lives not life.
作者：The Yeti - 2000/07/13 22:23:01
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二位译文妙极。Another alternative
作者：tian xin - 2000/07/13 22:31:35
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Seal it with "Union"
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也试试这一段
作者：wq - 2000/07/14 06:47:07
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因此，我提出三点意见供你参考：
(一) 要围绕一个爱字，
(二) 要狠抓一个亲字，
(三) 要落实一个合字。
With all the above observations taken into account, it should be appropriate to suggest that our forthcoming approaches be focused on three R's, i.e.
--Resonance of our love;
--Reinforcement of our intimacy; and
--Realisation of our marriage.
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我们的婚事我们办。。。
作者：XY - 2000/07/14 14:20:52
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“我们的婚事我们办，办好婚事为我们”
"Wedding arrangements by ourselves and for ourselves"
交给谁都不放心！
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怎么联想来的？:)
作者：tian xin - 2000/07/14 16:31:33
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The wedding is of the people, for the people, and by the people.
Long live democracy! :)))
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切身经历:-)) kidding
作者：XY - 2000/07/14 18:13:39
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Is not from Moonie Land (Reverend Moon), I hope !
作者：The Yeti - 2000/07/13 22:32:56
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Sounded more like a pre-nuptial accounting than a love letter.
I give up. Any more clues ?
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革命情书大家译
作者：方壶斋 - 2000/07/14 00:13:32
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亲爱的齐：
My Dear Qi:
我们的感情，在组织的亲切关怀下，在领导的亲自过问下，一年来正沿着健康的道路蓬勃发展。这主要表现在：
Under the kind care of our organization and the personal guidance and examination of our leaders, our feelings have been vigorouly developing along a healthy road. This is mainly manifested in the following:
一) 我们共通信121 封，平均3.01天一封。其中你给我的信51封，占42.1%；我给你的 信70封，占57.9%。每封信平均1502字，最长的达5215字，最短的也 有624字。
1) Our correspondence consists of 121 letters at the average of 3.01 per day, of which, 51 are from you, accounting for 42.1%, and 70 are from me to you, accounting for 57.9%. The average lenghth of each letter is 1502 characters, with the longest being of 5215 characters and the shortest, 624 characters.
二) 约会共98次，平均3.7天一次。其中你主动约我38次，占38.7%；我主动约你60次，占61.3%。每次约会平均3.8小时。
2) We have dated each other 98 times, averaging 3.7 per day. 38.7% of these datings were initiated by you, namely 38 times. 61.3%, namely 60 times, were initiated by me. The average dating length of each time is 3.8 hours.
三) 我到你家看望你父母38次，平均每9.4天一次，你到我家看望我父母 36次，平均10天一次。
3) I visited your parents 38 times, averaing once per 9.4 days. You visited my parents 36 times at the average rate of once every 10 days.
以上充分证明一年来的交往我们已形成了恋爱的共识，我们爱情的主流是互相了解、互相关心、互相帮助，是平等互利的。
It is adequately evidenced by the above statistics that a year's interaction between us has led us to the common cognizance of love between us. The mainstream of this love affair features mutual understanding, mutual care, and mutual help, hence it is based on equity.
当然，任何事务都是一分为二的，缺点的存在是不可避免的。我们二人虽然都是积极的，但从以上的数据看，发展还不太平衡，积极性还存在一定的差距，这是前进中的缺点。相信在新的一年里，我们一定会发扬成绩、克服缺点、携手前进，开创我们爱情的新局面。
Of course, any matter has its merits and defects and it is inevitable that shortcomings should exist even in such a romantice relationship. Although we both are active and positive in this matter of us, the statistics shows that there is an unbalanced development and a gap exists between your initiatives and mine. This of course, is a kind of shortcoming in the process of progress. It is believed that during the coming new year, we can create a new situation for our love by augmenting our achivements, overcoming the shortcomings and marching forward hand in hand.
因此，我提出三点意见供你参考：
The following three proposals are hereby made for your consideration:
(一) 要围绕一个爱字，
(二) 要狠抓一个亲字，
(三) 要落实一个合字。
1) Ever movement should turn around the axis of love.
2) Every effort should should consolidate our intimacy.
3) Every compaign should substantialize our union.
让我们弘扬团结拼搏的精神，共同振兴我们的爱情，争取达到一个新高度，登上一个新台阶。本着“我们的婚事我们办，办好婚事为我们”的精神，共创辉煌。
Let us glorify the spirit of unity and hard work to vitalize our love and bring it to a new height and new stage. Let us create our common bright future in accordance with the spirit of "We manage our own wedding and we wed to manage our own happiness".
你的小惠
Your dear
Xiaohui
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标题有趣好笑！方君您真能绕这些数字！也谢the Yeti, wq, tian xin诸位。切蹉是美的一种。
作者：bm - 2000/07/14 07:29:22
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多谢方君，如今从您这学会怎样把统计数据写得既清楚而句式又不单调
作者：honeyfox - 2000/07/14 07:42:36
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另帮您挑一小刺："averaging 3.7 per day"应该是"averaging once per 3.7 days"之笔误吧？
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您笔下的数字，就像跳跃的音符，动感十足。真棒！
作者：木子尹 - 2000/07/14 09:10:40
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感谢各位热心踊跃回应，怎么还就是不见老刘啊？！
作者：野草 - 2000/07/16 08:34:57
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诸位一气呵成的佳译，不论是全文译还是摘译戏译，都认真拜读了，受到很多启发。方兄说得好，“革命情书”还须大家译才有味道。帖子是我甩出来的，没理由不说几句。本想等久违的老刘出来后再说，但候了多日还没动静，只好不静等了，也把自己戏译的亮出来热闹热闹。仍希望看到老刘的帖。老刘，愿您无恙！
之所以转贴此虚构情书，并非欣赏它。显然，这虚构者是受不了当今大陆官方传媒时髦的种种空话、套话才编出这么一封情书的。作者可能身在大陆，但更可能在海外，不论在何处，他对社会语言如何潜移默化影响老百姓的言行却是非常敏感的，这点很可贵。
为了让不懂中文(准确点该说是“不懂大陆官方套话”)的读者从英语体会此文的味道，我故意把它拧成叫人受不了的东西。见笑了！
Dear Qi,
Over the past year, owing to the welcoming care of the Party organisation and the personal intervention of our Unit leaders, our relationship has been prosperously developing along a healthy road. This is mainly manifested in the following:
1) Our correspondence includes 121 letters in all, averaging one in every 3.01 days. Your letters to me total 51, making 42.1 percent, whilst mine to you is 70 in total, which is 57.9 percent. Each letter consists of 1502 characters on an average, with 5215 characters in the longest, and 624 in the shortest.
2) We dated each other 98 times, once in 3.7 days on average. Among them, there were 38 times when you took the initiative, accounting for 38.7 percent; and 60 times I took the lead to invite you, making 61.3 percent. The length of each dating time averaged 3.8 hours.
3) I frequented your residence to visit your parents 38 times, which was once in 9.4 days on average. As far as you are concerned, you came to my residence to visit my parents 36 times, averaging once in 10 days.
All the aforesaid sufficiently registers that, through the interaction between us over the year, a shared cognisance has been reached to the effect that you and I have been truly in love. This love affair of ours typically features “Four Mutuals”, i.e. mutual understanding, mutual attention, mutual assistance, and mutual benefits on the basis of reciprocal equity. Nevertheless, everything is dividable into two, so the existence of flaws is by no manner of means avoidable. Despite the efforts exerted by our two parties, the aforementioned statistics afford evidence that, to some measure there still remains discrepancy in terms of initiative, as well as a lack of balance in terms of advancement. However, this should be considered mere developmental imperfection. It is believed that the new year will witness you and me striding ahead hand in hand to commence a new phase in our love relationship. Our current achievements will be amplified whilst our shortcomings overcome.
All things having been taken into account, I hereby put forth for your consideration AKIC, a three-point proposal that the subsequent development of our relationship should:
1) Strictly centre around the word AMOUR;
2) Vigorously adhere to the word KISS; and
3) Persistently implement the word COITUS.
Let us carry on the militant team-work spirit and strive to further invigorate our love so that it could be brought to a new height and landed on a new stage. “Our wedding is up to ourselves, and for nobody else but ourselves.” Bearing this in mind, let us go all out for the erection of a future of brilliance.
Yours ever,
Xiao Hui
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叹为观止，笑为观止！:-) 多谢野草君！
作者：he zi - 2000/07/16 14:12:52
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野草君，你要负责！
作者：Honeyfox - 2000/07/17 16:03:35
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我身边的朋友被您这封“革命情书”笑破了肚皮。这笔账只能算在你头上了。 :-))
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