tian xin 于 1999/10/28 20:11:30 发表在 汉英
I took a vow to be a worshipper of truth,
Henceforth all falsehood was barred from my door.
I was initiated into the path of the righteous,
Turning away old companions guilty and sinful.
I wedded winter solitude,
Rejecting autumn brewed wine.
Holding my head high, I fixed my eyes
On the glittering guilotine,
Deaf to the jeering crowds along the road.
But, until
At the cross of my heart,
You threw a rose petal.
O, until you threw the rose,
I hadn't remembered perfume;
Until you threw the rose,
I had forgotten the color of red;
Until you threw the rose,
I had never known it had thorns
To wound my heart,
Grinding pride in pain,
Blinding my sight.
You disappeared into the crowd.
Still, my heart clutches on the rose
That enfolds my Beloved's face.
My feet chase after its scent,
Bearing its thorns.
A martyr to Love am I
Bride of separation,
And the summer of longing
Hath taken a permanent lease.
[ 回应主贴 ]
[ 返回论坛 ]
跟贴目录:
- 风流烈女 - 老粗又译 19991028213345
- 敬谢各位。 - 老粗再拜 19991029012127
风流烈女
作者:老粗又译 - 19991028213345
***
I took a vow to be a worshipper of truth,
Henceforth all falsehood was barred from my door.
I was initiated into the path of the righteous,
Turning away old companions guilty and sinful.
I wedded winter solitude,
Rejecting autumn brewed wine.
誓为真理信徒
谎言永不沾门
此身已上正气途
远别朋党群小
嫁与冬至时分
谢他秋酿酒
Holding my head high, I fixed my eyes
On the glittering guilotine,
Deaf to the jeering crowds along the road.
昂首定睛
不避铡刀寒
充耳不闻
一路万夫指
But, until
At the cross of my heart,
You threw a rose petal.
忽逢君抛玫瑰瓣
落我心田十字
O, until you threw the rose,
I hadn't remembered perfume;
Until you threw the rose,
I had forgotten the color of red;
Until you threw the rose,
I had never known it had thorns
玫瑰未抛时
不忆花飘香
玫瑰未抛时
已忘花映红
玫瑰未抛时
不知花有刺
To wound my heart,
Grinding pride in pain,
Blinding my sight.
You disappeared into the crowd.
伤我心
傲骨委屈
遮我目
没入人中他难寻
Still, my heart clutches on the rose
That enfolds my Beloved's face.
My feet chase after its scent,
Bearing its thorns.
心仍依玫瑰
玫瑰面遮郎
脚下虽有刺
步步逐遗香
A martyr to Love am I
Bride of separation,
And the summer of longing
Hath taken a permanent lease.
我乃风流鬼
分离之新娘
憧憬终夏日
相许无穷长
[ 回应此贴 |
查看原贴 ]
向贫下中农致敬!怎么老粗比咱小资都细腻且温情呢?多谢!
作者:tian xin - 19991028222534
***
只是,您能否把标题给温婉一些?另外,最后一节中“风流鬼”能否
再稍许细腻点?
再拜!
[ 回应此贴 |
查看原贴 ]
更正:标题改为 -- “情觞” (软件无其字,故借)
作者:老粗领教 - 19991028230534
***
最后一段改为 --
我乃殉情人
分离之新娘
憧憬终夏日
相许无穷长
(请指教)
[ 回应此贴 |
查看原贴 ]
那俺的红薯咧?弄丢咧,还是烤糊咧?饿死俺咧!:-(
作者:老大粗 - 19991028231219
***
[ 回应此贴 |
查看原贴 ]
Hey 老乡, Shakespeare would call you "rustic"; and I call you "yokel" for your ramshackle effort!
作者:tian xin - 1999/10/29 04:52:52
***
[ 回应此贴 |
查看原贴 ]
甜心咧,你爱咋叫就咋叫咧!俺“乡巴佬”、“老土”心里甜着咧!
作者:大老粗 - 1999/10/30 20:05:22
***
没错咧,美国老乡们都叫俺 hill-billy, yokel, redneck, hick, bumpkin, Bubba ,嘛的都有!有的还说俺“straight from Boise, Idaho”!但是俺还是更喜欢 husky corn! 形象咧!甜心红薯喜欢不?美国老农也爱玉米咧!xoxoxoxo
[ 回应此贴 |
查看原贴 ]
Absolutely divine! 真是难为您了。再施礼!
作者:tian xin - 19991028234846
***
[ 回应此贴 |
查看原贴 ]
再改一句
作者:老粗又上 - 19991029022229
***
“嫁与冬至时分”一句,改为
“嫁与冬寂日”
初译理解有误。经友人指出,觉得改成这样较好,以近原义。
[ 回应此贴 |
查看原贴 ]
谢君再酿酒 ;-)
作者:tian xin - 1999/10/29 04:58:45
***
[ 回应此贴 |
查看原贴 ]
My gratitude is as boundless as the sea, and my admiration as deep
作者:tian xin - 19991028231011
***
Your Chinese is wondrous and magic, I could never have done
it myself. Thank you very much.
Please don't worry about the title. I read your translation
again and everything feels right, including the title of
the translator :-)
[ 回应此贴 |
查看原贴 ]
绝妙!痛快!佩服!
作者:YECAO - 19991028231900
***
[ 回应此贴 |
查看原贴 ]
敬谢各位。
作者:老粗再拜 - 19991029012127
***
甜这首诗是眼不容沙。其质其文均不可以俗犯之。只得随仙入境。不
当之处,多指正。
[ 回应此贴 |
查看原贴 ]
[ 跟贴目录 ] [ 返回论坛 ]