野草 于 2000/09/10 13:16:03 发表在 汉英
冤家
(哈代原作)
那会我心一横非要查个水落石出 -
看哪个妖精的像片他会看了又看再一声叹息;
他人死了我才为这事儿痛哭流涕
咒自己卑鄙犯贱我后悔莫及!
趁他不在我搜他抽屉,
像片翻到啦 - 可不就是我自己!
像片里我当年象天仙最美丽
是哪天拍的却完全没标记。
瞧自己那模样我乐开了花,含笑忙把像放回去,
他那德性还一个劲儿对着像片痴心哩,直到
我发现,他爱的不是活生生的我,
原来他还在恋着那八辈子前的女人哩,
把老娘我气得呀,真是岂有此理!
唉,我恨,我气,一肚子醋意,
当下把过去的我呀,三下五除二撕了扔垃圾;
列位看官恐怕做梦也没想到,
女人心里做事,竟会如此傻不喇叽!
The Rival
(By Thomas Hardy)
I determined to find out whose it was *C
The portrait he looked at so, and sighed;
Bitterly have I rued my meanness
And wept for it since he died!
I searched his desk when he was away,
And there was the likeness *C yes, my own!
Taken when I was the season’s fairest,
And time-lines all unknown.
I smiled at my image, and put it back,
And he went on cherishing it, until
I was chafed that he loved not the me then living.
But that past woman still.
Well, such was my jealousy at last,
I destroyed that face of the former me;
Could you ever have dreamed the heart of woman
Would work so foolishly!
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谢野草君。Women, thou name is self-consciousness!
作者:bm - 2000/09/10 19:01:40
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do it again: Woman, thou name is self-consciousness!
作者:bm - 2000/09/10 19:04:00
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better "thy name"
作者:faultfinder - 2000/09/11 00:33:25
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Sure, thank you.
作者:bm - 2000/09/11 11:14:11
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同是坛中爱醋人,相乐何必曾冤家:))
作者:tian xin - 2000/09/10 19:48:35
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It is a bitter example of the triumph of time and physical attraction over love and compassion, as well as the tragedy of time and matter. The narrator of the poem totally identifies with the present, not out of acceptance born of understanding and time, but out of fear of time and loss. She sees nothing beyond the physical aging of her self or the possible transcendence of love as implied in her husband’s cherishing of a beauty in her photo. This inevitably leads to meanness of spirit and destruction. The tragic tension is somewhat eased by her repentance which begins and ends the poem. But the overall structure suggests a sense of failure, a lasting sorrow that evokes a feeling of “too late”. What a contrast with Yeats’“When you are old”!
However, the bitterness of the original is so masterfully balanced by Yecao’s playfulness and humour that one starts to see the absurdity of it all. The world is indeed a stage, and love a game between two individuals, be it bitter or sweet. We humans are so hopeless and helpless that what else can we do but laugh at ourselves?
Thank you Yecao for making us see and accept ourselves in the mirror of your ever original interpretation.
坛翻酸天下
岂管东与西
昔日唐人妇
今有英伦媳
醋意葬情义
玉照付垃圾
伤心曾哈代
开心谢草译
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谢谢甜心妙笔评论和指正。那句应为:“脸上的年轮道道都还不知在哪里!”:-)
作者:野草 - 2000/09/11 08:22:43
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我对哈代从没有研究,只读过他一两本书,但喜欢他那朴实无华、充满乡土气的文笔,觉得他很有生活体验,且极富幽默。昨天星期天,陪女儿逛书店,偶然叼了本哈代集,见几首诗令人喷饭,回家当即敲了一首上坛,没细斟酌,只想与众共享。那句time-lines打字时曾闪 过不妥,也没查究。确是您说得对,似应土戏译为“脸上挂的年轮道道”。
Hence:
......
像片里我当年象天仙最美丽
脸上的年轮道道都还不知在哪里!
再谢!
还有另一首,也挺逗,抄出来贴在此,有兴趣的朋友不妨各显神通戏译发挥一番:
IN THE NUPTIAL CHAMBER
"O THAT mastering tune!" And up in the bed
Like a lace-robed phantom springs the bride;
"And why?" asks the man she had that day wed,
With a start, as the band plays on outside.
"It's the townfolk's cheery compliment
Because of our marriage, my innocent."
"O but you don't know! 'Tis the passionate air
To which my old Love waltzed with me,
And I swore as we spun that none should share
My home, my kisses, till death, save he!
And he dominates me and thrills me through,
And it's he I embrace while embracing you!"
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另外,time-lines 似指时间刻下的皱纹。再谢。
作者:tian xin - 2000/09/10 23:44:04
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谢野草兄妙译!戏译而与原文紧紧相扣,实在是高,不似
作者:XY - 2000/09/11 10:16:06
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俺,俺戏译常常是避重就轻、投机取巧:-(
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