野草 于 2000/09/29 15:10:16 发表在 汉英
1. War doesn't decide who is RIGHT, but who is LEFT.
2. When you're unscrewing a lightbulb, LEFT is RIGHT and RIGHT is WRONG.
Hi, folks, we don't have to have knowledge about "pun in antithesis" to enjoy the fun with the pun, do we?
Have a wonderful week-end, friends!
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借野草先生的东风，More jokes for the weekend.
作者：新学生 - 2000/09/29 15:29:27
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> >"Steve Wright Quotes"
>
> >I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park
> >anywhere near the place.
> >
> >I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a
> >full house and four people died.
> >
> >Last week, I went to a furniture store to look for a
> >decaffeinated coffee table. They couldn't help me.
> >
> >What's another word for "thesaurus"?
> >
> >When I get real bored, I like to drive down town and get a great
> >parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me
> >if I'm leaving.
> >
> >When I was a kid, we had a quicksand box in the backyard. I was
> >an only child...eventually.
> >
> >I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to
> >buy them again.
> >
> >For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier. I put
> >them in the same room and let them fight it out.
> >
> >I have a switch in my apartment that doesn't do anything. Every
> >once in a while I turn it on and off. One day I got a call from a
> >woman in France who said "Cut it out!"
> >
> >I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything
> >specific.
> >
> >I turned my air conditioner the other way around, and it got cold
> >out.The weatherman said, "I don't understand it. It was supposed to
> >be 80 degrees out today." I said "Oops..."
> >
> >I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures
> >of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
> >
> >My neighbor has a circular driveway. He can't get out.
> >
> >I bought some powdered water, but I didn't know what to add.
> >
> >I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.
> >
> >I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now,
> >but leave a message and I'll call when I'm out."
> >
> >I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I
> >got there.
> >
> >I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time." So I
> >ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
> >
> >A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to
> >go. You'll just be walking down the street and.......oohh, that's
> >much better.
> >
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节省资源，再借地儿。LAO LIU老师，补充您老三月十四日的旧贴。Exit poll AND a cheap judge's robe
作者：新学生 - 2000/09/29 17:13:23
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I was digging through the forum for some jokes to read. And there I found your post on 3/14/00 with your (once again) fabulous translation of an article in The New Yorker. Man, Laughing-out-loud funny. You did good!
I have some thoughts on the questions you raised in that post. (Here I go again, surprise surprise. Not for showing-off though, if a certain so-and-so happens to be reading this.) I don't know if you guys have already closed those issues for good. But anyway, here are my two cents.
(1)"Legal says tacking on a "Life is unfair" V.O. and super upfront would cover railroading-the-innocent issue like a cheap judge's robe. "
I think he ("I" and the author) is mocking shows like "people's court" or "judge whats-her-name" with the remark "a cheap judge's robe". Could be wrong.
(2)"People, I have a Monday breakfast with the Chief, and I don't want "Who Wants My Job?" winning the exit poll. "
I'm sure you guys know what an exit poll is. It probably came out of American politics. After the voters come out of the voting booth, media people will poll them right then and there. Thus, exit poll. Sometimes reporters also poll the audience who have just finished watching a new movie. It's also called an exit poll. So "I" am going to have breakfast with the head honcho. When "I" exit from that breakfast and "you" ask me how it went, "I" don't want the answer to be "Who Wants My Job".
(3)"Here is one final large, large, large idea: Quiz format. Mega-bucks payoff. Contestants all brainy creeps, but gimmick is: make lo-empathy super-creeps take a dive and grease answers so single sympathetic creep keeps on winning until even more sympathetic creep comes along. People, how come I suddenly feel a whole helluvalot better about Monday b'fast??? "
The gimmick described here sounds an awful lot like the story line of "The Quiz Show" (a movie based on a true event). I'm not sure if this is a joke in reference to that movie. But I have a feeling it is. (Note to my dear Sis, it is a good movie starring Ralph Fiennes, the star of "the English Patient". Totally worth seeing. The movie I mean.)
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正在找那篇，稍候，谢谢！
作者：laoliu - 2000/09/29 17:24:47
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Take your time. Gotta go. Have a good weekend.
作者：xin xue sheng - 2000/09/29 17:35:05
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找到了：
作者：laoliu - 2000/09/29 17:56:18
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>>>So "I" am going to have breakfast with the head honcho. When "I" exit from that breakfast and "you" ask me how it went, "I" don't want the answer to be "Who Wants My Job".
Couldn't be explained better. Thanks a lot! I also agree with you on the other points.
The actor in The Quiz Show, a rather sad looking fellow, played the Nazi prison official in The Schindler's List, if memory serves me right.
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yep, same actor.
作者：xin xue sheng - 2000/10/02 08:19:07
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周末愉快！又：
作者：laoliu - 2000/09/29 16:43:59
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The bobby told me to drive on the right side of the road. So I did. Then he gave me a ticket!
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You are so lucky! Just gave you a piece of paper, eh?
作者：看官 - 2000/09/29 16:51:00
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You didn't get a head-on collision? AMAZING!
They would have given you a few stitches instead.
Talking about safe driving, huh?
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Just a weekend joke.
作者：看官 - 2000/09/29 21:44:44
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Sorry if I offended you. I come in peace.
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技穷了:-)
作者：hz - 2000/09/29 17:22:45
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欲罢不能，想出来一个实在不怎么样：“战争不决定谁有道，而是谁不倒。”
Happy weekend, 野草君 and everyone!
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战争不决定谁是，决定谁不死
作者：h - 2000/09/29 18:14:32
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卸灯泡的时候反拧就正了，正拧就反了
作者：try - 2000/09/29 20:46:12
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maybe better: ...正拧就反了，反拧就对了?
作者：also try - 2000/09/29 20:55:12
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True! Thanks!
作者：try - 2000/09/30 09:06:11
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