weekend joker 于 1999/12/17 23:21:37 发表在 汉英
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side of the Lexus. The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.
When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer
shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic
you lawyers are," he said. "You're so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
The lawyer looked down towards his missing limb and began screaming, "My God! Where's my Rolex?"
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凑趣：Upgrading Computer Programs
作者：Xinming - 1999/12/17 23:52:10
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>Query sent in to Tech Support:
>Last Year, I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as PokerNite 10.3 and BeerBash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0, but UNINSTALL does not work on this program.
>Can You Help Me?
>
>Helpless
>
>***********************************************************************
>
>Response from Tech Support:
>
>TO: Helpless
>
>
>This is a very common problem that men complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM, and designed by its Creator to run everything. It is impossible to UNINSTALL, Delete, or Purge the program from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than original system. Look in your manual under 'Warnings - Alimony/Child Support'. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.
>Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assure all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push apologize button then reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program...but is very high maintenance.
>
>Tech Support
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echo: reply to this pilgarlic
作者(Author)：fresher - 2004/03/05 07:55:42
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As a system engineer ,I `m sorry to hear that . In the field of computer , we have not discover this kinds of programs at present. Maybe the efficient way to deal with this situation is building the testing platform to avoid much expense. Our experience is If you safe a mirror image of girlfriend 1.0 before she became wife 1.0 , you can recover your system in time. To focus this difficult problem, we alert people have great carefulness about our emtion system .
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How come he's even worse than my pumpkin friend or my friend Shylock?
作者：tian xin - 1999/12/18 01:47:04
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