哪位方家给改一改
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实习生 于 2000/01/06 03:38:01 发表在 汉英
不管前面是地雷阵还是万丈深渊，我都将一往无前，义无反顾，鞠躬尽瘁，死而后已。
However, I shall dedicate myself to the service of my people and the country till the last day of my life even if there were landmines or abyss that might lie ahead.
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作者：Tak - 2000/01/06 03:46:49
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However, I shall dedicate my life to serving my country and the people and I shall not falter even if there are landmines and abysses waiting for me on my path.
【注】
（1）serving 较 the service 有力。
（2）my people? 那有点君王的口吻了。
（3）“dedicated myself*till the last day of my life”与“dedicated my life”各有千秋，但我喜欢比较短的。
（4）“义无反顾”欠译；语气变得有点不衔接。
（5）shall 应该配 are；若用 were 前句便要用 would 了。
（6）abyss 应是复数。
以上 2，5，6 三点都是不该犯的小错。至与第 1 点，我觉得专业翻译的人应该熟知什么时候该用 gerund。
我觉得译者最高明的是把前后两段互换。按“义无反顾”较“鞠躬尽瘁”语气上强力得多；原文先强后弱，“鞠躬尽瘁”反成滥竽充数之词。（老实说，有点不伦不类。）经译者一改，语气上通顺得多了。
Tak
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似曾相识士归来:)
作者：tian xin - 2000/01/06 04:12:59
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However, I shall give my all to my country and my people till my last breath, whatever landmines or abysses may strew my path.
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No way Jose
作者：nitpicker - 2000/01/06 11:23:19
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Can we really say "abysses strew my path?" An abyss would effectively break or terminate the path, wouldn't it?
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Yes, you are right! Thanks and sorry-numbed by cannons downstairs;)
作者：tian xin - 2000/01/06 13:35:33
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谢谢楼上两位的详解！
作者：实习生 - 2000/01/06 09:54:31
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