ll 于 2000/01/26 16:30:31 发表在 汉英
Minor changes made
http://www.sunrisesite.org/library/gb/renwu/wangshuo/wanzhu.hz
顽 主
王 朔
一
“我是个作家，叫宝康——您没听说过？”
“哦，没有，真对不起。”
在“三Ｔ”公司的办公室里，经理于观正在接待上午的第三位顾客，一个大脑瓜儿细皮嫩肉的青年男子。
“我的笔名叫智清。”
“还是想不起来。您说吧，您有什么事，不是想在我们这儿体验生活吧？”
“不不，我生活底子不体验也足够厚。是这样的，我写了一些东西，很精彩很有分量的东西，都是冷门，任何人看了脑袋都‘嗡’一下，傻半天——我这么说没一点言过其实，很多看过的人都这么认为，认为起码可以得个全国奖，可是……”
“落了空？”
“准确的说我压根没参加评奖，我认为毫无希望。瞧，我是个有自知之明的人。也许你不太了解文学圈里的事，哪次评奖都是平衡的结果，上去了一些好作品，但同样好的作品偏偏上不去。”
“这个我们恐怕爱莫能助，我们目前和作协没什么业务联系，我们缺乏有魅力的女工作人员。”
“噢，我不是让你们去为我运动。我不在乎得不得全国奖，我对名利其实很淡泊的，我只希望我的劳动得到某种承认，随便什么奖都可以。”
“您的意思是说哪怕是个‘三Ｔ’奖？”于观试探地问。
宝康紧张地笑起来：“真不好意思，真难为情，我是不是太露骨了？”
“不不，您恰到好处。您当然是希望规模大一点喽？”
“规模大小无所谓，但要隆重，奖品丰厚，租最豪华的剧场，请些民主党派的副主席——我有的是钱。”
“奖品定为每位一台空调怎么样？”
“每位？我可是为自己的事……”
“红花也得绿叶扶，您自个站在台上难道不寂寞？该找几个凑趣的。我想给您发奖的同时也给一些著名作家发奖，这样我们这个奖也就显得是那么回事，您也可以跻身著名作家之列。和著名作家同台领奖，说起来多么令人羡慕。”
“一人一台空调，这要多少钱？虽然我很想有机会和著名作家并排站会儿，可也不想因此倾家荡产。”
“要是您不赞成奢侈，俭省的办法也有，把奖分为一二三等，特等奖为空调您自己得，其余各类为不同档次的‘傻瓜’相机，再控制一下获奖人数，我们只选最有名的。”
“这样好，这样合理多了。”宝康喜笑颜开，“我得空调，别人得‘傻瓜’。你列个预算吧，回头我就交钱。”
“您来付钱时能不能把您的作品带来让我们拜读一下？当然哪篇获奖我们不管您自己定，我只是从来没这么近地和一个货真价实的作家脸儿对脸儿过，就是再和文学无缘也不得不受感动。”
“可以。”宝康既矜持又谦逊地说，“我甚至可以给你签个名儿呢。我最有名的作品是发在《小说群》上的《东太后传奇》和发在《作家林》上的《我要说我不想说但还是要说》。”
“了不起，一定很有意思，我简直都无心干别的了。”
“你说，那些名作家会不会端臭架子，拒绝领奖？”于观把青年作家送到门口，青年作家忽而有些忧心忡忡。
于观安慰他：“不怕的，领不领是他们的事，不领我们硬发。”
“谢谢，太谢谢了。”青年作家转身和于观热情地握手，“灯不拨不明，您这一席话真使人豁然开朗。”
“不客气，我们公司的宗旨就是帮助象您这样素有大志却无计可施的人。”
"I'm a writer, my name is Bao Kang, you never heard of me?"
"Uh, no. I am so sorry."
Yu Guan, the manager at the 3T office, was talking to the third visitor for that morning, a young, fine-skinned fellow with a big skull.
"My pen name is Clever and Clear?"
"I don't know that name, either. O.K., please tell me what I can do for you. You want to gather your writing material here, is that it?"
"No, no. I don't need to do any material gathering anymore. I have enough material just living my own everyday life. Let me explain it to you. I've written some wonderful, heavy stuff, not the fashionable kind, though. Those who had the chance to read it, they were dumbfounded, simply overwhelmed. I'm not exaggerating. Many thought it was worthy of, of at least a national award. But..."
"You always came back empty-handed?"
"Well, to be frank with you, I didn't even bother to enter those contests. It's useless anyway. You're probably not familiar with the literary circle, but I know what's going on. Every award is a balancing act: some good writers are chosen, some, equally good, are not."
"I am afraid there is little we can do here. We currently do not have any business relationship with the Writer's Association, due to a lack of attractive female employees."
"Oh, I won't ask you to be my lobbyist with the Writer's Association. See, it doesn't have to be a national award--I actually think very little of fame--just any award, any recognition of my work."
"Even if it were a 3T award?" Yu Guan probed cautiously.
"It's so embarrassing, uh, I'm so embarrassed," Bao Kang gave a nervous laugh, "am I being too forward?"
"Oh, no. You are doing it just right. So, you want a big ceremony, of course?"
"It doesn't matter how big the ceremony is, but, just to make sure that it looks official, go out and rent the fanciest theater, invite vice chairpersons of some Minority Parties and give a fat prize--don't worry about the money."
"How about every winner gets an air-conditioning unit?"
"Every winner? This is for myself only..."
"红花也得绿叶扶。Wouldn't you feel lonely up there all by yourself? A few extras will only add to the fun. Now, I am planning to give out prizes to some well-known writers as well at the award, so our little gig will look more legit, and soon you will be mingling with all those famous writers. 'To receive an award with famous writers,' what an enviable thing to be said about oneself."
"But an air-conditioner for each winner, how much is this gonna cost me? As much as I like being lined up on-stage with the big guys, I don't want to bankrupt myself."
"Don't want an extravaganza? Let's be frugal: we will have first, second, and third prizes. Only you get the special prize, which is the air-conditioner. All the others, they get focus-free cameras of different prices. We will also limit the number of winners--only the best will be picked."
"That's great, that's more reasonable," Bao Kang smiled broadly, "I get the A.C., the others get focus-free. I'll pay you when I see the budget."
"By the way, when you give us the money, could you also bring some of your work, so I can read it? Of course you still get to choose which writing will be awarded. It is just that I have never talked to a real man of letters face to face, in such vicinity, and I am so moved even though I consider myself barely educated."
"Most certainly," Bao Kang was prideful and coy at the same time, "I'll even autograph those copies for you. Among my best known are 'The Legendary East Empress' in The Jungle of Novels and 'I Want to Say that I Don't Want to Say but I Have to Say" in The Forest of Writers."
"Wonderful. They must be very interesting. I cannot wait to read them."
As he was seen out, the young writer seemed suddenly concerned. "Say, those bigshot writers, being snobbish as they are, would they refuse the award?"
"There is nothing to be afraid of: whether they take or not, we will give," Yu Guan comforted him.
"Thank you, thank you so much!" the young writer turned to shake Yu Guan's hands, "灯不拨不明。I'm very enlightened, my friend."
"Don't mention it. The motto of our company is to help people with big aspirations but small opportunities, people just like you."
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An interesting story with excellent translation! Can't wait for the remainder!
作者：古月 - 2000/01/26 19:46:31
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Let's have a brainstorm on the translation of the following two sayings. Here are my tentative suggestions:
红花也得绿叶扶: A red rose looks at its best when set off by green leaves.
灯不拨不明: It won't flash out light if you don't press the button(speaking of a flashlight).
Gu Yue
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A rose has to come with green leaves to look nice. - 也来“集思”一下
作者：野草 - 2000/01/27 08:49:11
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红花也得绿叶扶A rose has to come with green leaves to look nice. - 也来“集思”一下/见题不见文，重贴
作者：野草 - 2000/01/27 11:08:30
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红花也得绿叶扶
A rose has to come with green leaves to look nice.
灯不拨不明
Without a snip (to the wick), the light won't shine as bright.
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Excellent! Thanks!
作者：古月 - 2000/01/27 11:12:18
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Wonderful translation! And a few suggestions...
作者：渔夫 - 2000/01/26 20:36:09
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I really admire the translator's work, and I hope my two cents are not too off the mark.
1. a big skull -- a big forehead? Seems all famous and wannabe writers have a big forehead.
2. they were dumbfounded, like "WOW!", simply overwhelmed. -- I would add the "WOW!".
3. I am afraid there is little we can do here -- Sorry my man, no can do.
4. Writer's Association -- Writers Guild
5. fanciest theater -- grandest concert hall
6. big guys -- bigshots, or heavies
7. focus free camera -- camera for dummies, now we have all kinds of book for dummies.
8. I have never talked to a real man of letters face to face, in such vicinity, -- rub elbow
9. I'll even autograph those copies for you. -- I think "sign" is the word the autograph giver uses, "autograph" is the word the autograph seeker uses.
10. There is nothing to be afraid of -- Not to worry.
11. big aspirations but small opportunities -- little opportunities. Little here can mean small and few.
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谢谢古月和渔夫的鼓励与指导
作者：ll - 2000/01/26 21:48:12
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我非常同意你们的建议，谢谢。
Some more questions:
gather your writing material: how about gain your writer's experience?
Every award is a balancing act: 这样讲可以吗?
I Want to Say that I Don't Want to Say but I Have to Say: how about I Want to Say that I Don't Want to Say That but I Have to Say That?
Forgot to indent at the beginning of each paragraph
Lastly, I'm sure someone else has already worked, or is working, on this piece--at lease two of Wang's other books have been published in English and are now available at amazon.com.
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"Playing for Thrills" and ?
作者：hz - 2000/01/26 22:16:32
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Just saw your posting after I posted mine downstairs. I'm wondering what is the other work by Wang Shuo which has been translated into English, besides "Playing for Thrills"? I checked amazon but didn't find. Thank you!
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Every success!
作者：古月 - 2000/01/26 23:04:09
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>>gather your writing material: how about gain your writer's experience?
You mean 体验生活? But "to gain your writer's experience" can mean "to gain experience in writing." You may wish to use "to live your plots." And "to live my own life (instead of plots)" would then logically follow.
>> Every award is a balancing act: 这样讲可以吗?
An alternative: 哪次评奖都是平衡的结果: Every award is a result of compromise.
>> I Want to Say that I Don't Want to Say but I Have to Say: how about I Want to Say that I Don't Want to Say That but I Have to Say That?
An alternative:《我要说我不想说但还是要说》: Wanna Say Hate to Say but Gotta Say
Well, there are many ways to skin a cat. Good luck!
Gu Yue
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Bravo for " Wanna Say Hate to Say but Gotto Say", but
作者：Cat - 2000/01/28 07:20:11
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I am sensitive to certain words in your posting which makes me shivering all over.
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:-))))) Sorry! Merely a figure of speech. No cruelty intended! Thanks!
作者：古月 - 2000/01/28 07:57:19
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On second thoughts, maybe I should have said "there're many ways to scale a fish" just to whet ur appetite?
作者：古月 - 2000/01/28 09:37:46
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不 过 我 还 是 忘 不 了 你 的first thoughts. 那 将 是 我 永 远 无 法 愈 合 的 伤 口。:-(
作者：Cat - 2000/01/28 11:31:21
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:-)))) O please! Give me a chance to redeem myself! :-)
作者：古月 - 2000/01/28 13:54:19
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:-))))O please! Give me a chance to redeem myself! :-)
作者：古月 - 2000/01/28 13:50:50
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又仔细读了一过，有几个小问题请教
作者：hz - 2000/01/26 23:46:51
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因为您开头说“Minor changes made”，所以我的问题也许属于您有意改动的部分，那么还请多包涵。
(1)将“隆重”译为“official”，我猜测是因为原文(“规模大小无所谓，但要隆重”)本身含义矛盾？
(2)“每位？我可是为自己的事……”的译文
“Every winner? This is for myself only...”
似乎有可能会使人误解，以为“this”指的是冰箱:-) (Well, it could be only me. :-)
(3)我觉得“我们只选最有名的”与“only the best will be picked”之间差别较大。于观和宝康都不会在乎好坏，要紧的是“名”。
(4)吹毛求疵一下：“could you also bring some of your workS”。
(5)我注意到您只将“智清”一名意译了，很有意思，是要一种反讽的效果吧？
再次感谢您妙译王朔！
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Some choices
作者：渔夫 - 2000/01/27 14:22:28
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Q: gather your writing material: how about gain your writer's experience?
Some other possible choices: gather ideas, collect materials, develop plots, do a pilot,
find topics, look for inspirations...
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叹为观止
作者：he zi - 2000/01/26 22:26:08
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以前跟隐士先生讨论时还说王朔作品很难译出原味儿呢，而现在仅看您的英译已足以使人忍俊不禁，
实在是很有味道，妙极了！建议您把全篇一节节译出来然后去出版，只不过原作确实长了些。
Anyway, it's such a great enjoyment! Thank you so much for your marvelous translation. Can't wait for more!
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各位多谢了！又：Please Don't Call Me Human (ISBN: 0786864192) Due Jul 2000
作者：ll - 2000/01/27 16:32:50
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Got it. Many thanks!
作者：hz - 2000/01/27 17:43:22
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谢谢：古月，野草，渔夫，hz，Cat
作者：ll - 2000/01/29 00:22:26
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Great corrections/suggestions:
a big forehead/like "WOW!"/grandest concert hall/rub elbows with/sign the books/not to worry
A rose looks it best when set off by green leaves/a compromise
and many others!
Also:
could you also bring some of your work(S)?
I don't think the plural form should be used, but I'm open to correction. You can always say, "I like your work." "The works" has this sense of "the complete body of one's work."
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终于轮到我吹毛求疵了！
作者：Last Hermit - 2000/01/29 04:43:31
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1)Yu Guan, the manager at the 3T office, was talking to the third visitor for that morning, a young, fine-skinned fellow with a big skull.--->
Yu Guan, Manager of 3T, was receiving the third visitor for that morning, who was...
2)You want to gather your writing material here, is that it?"
"No, no. I don't need to do any material gathering anymore. I have enough material just living my own everyday life-->
You're not here for filling your writings with more life and make them more meaningful,eh?"
"No. no. My own book of life is thick enough
3)I've written some wonderful, heavy stuff-->
I've written some wonderful, substantial stuff
4)air-conditioning unit-->air-con(more colloquial)
5)Bao Kang smiled broadly-->Bao Kang developed a big smile
6)could you also bring some of your work-->...works
work[usu. pl]an object produced by writing, painting, etc(Longman)
The abovementioned might not be right. Only for your reference.
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Meunique
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Thanks
作者：ll - 2000/01/29 19:38:20
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You're welcome! BTW,"My PERSONAL book of life" would be better, I'm afraid?
作者：Last Hermit - 2000/01/29 23:02:50
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Meunique
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Yes, thank you!
作者：ll - 2000/01/30 17:10:10
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