ds
Here's something that "linguist" will enjoy...
Tue Feb 15 01:42:00 2000
(received through e-mail from a relative, original source unknown.)
IMPORTANT LANGUAGE ANNOUNCEMENT
>
>The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby
English
>will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which
was the
>other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's
government
>conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
>accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as
"EuroEnglish":
>
>In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c"-- Sertainly this
will make
>the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favor of
>the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have 1
less
>letter.
>
>There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
>troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words
like
>"fotograf" 20% shorter.
>
>In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to
>reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments
>will
>enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always been a
>deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes
of the
>silent "e"'s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go
away.
>
>By the 4th year peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with
>"z", and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yar, ze unesesary "o" kan be
dropd
>from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid
to
>ozer
>kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli
sensibl
>riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it
>ezi tu understand ech ozer.
>
>ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!
>
>