jennylearnstowalk 于 2005/02/19 01:14:24 发表在 汉英03
！～＠＃＄％＾The content in the brackets is my paraphrased version. Any suggestion or idea will be appreciated!
In a country that can argue endlessly about such royal minutiae as whether it is appropriate for the queen to keep her breakfast cereal in plastic containers, a backlash against the second marriage of Charles, the Prince of Wales, is well under way.
（（（Britain is a country where daily trifles of the royal family can be intriguing topics to its citizens; the one like whether it is appropriate for the queen to place her breakfast cereal in plastic containers can cause a marathon debate. A flood of criticism towards Prince Charles’ remarriage, as one might expect, is now sweeping across the country.）））
Whether the couple will win acceptance with their subjects remains to be seen. But one thing is certain: for Charles, it will not be anything like the first time.
（（（Will the altar-bound couple be accepted by the public? It is yet to be known. But one thing is for sure: For Charles, this time everything is so different.）））
"Boring Old Gits to Wed" was how The Star announced the news last week- the other "old git" in the headline being Charles's fiancée, Camilla Parker Bowles. "What is there to celebrate?" asked Amanda Platell in The Daily Mail. "That a 56-year-old man has finally married his mistress?"
（（（Last week, Charles’ decision was taunted as “Boring Old Gits to wed” in the headline of The Star, with his fiancée Camilla Parker Bowles sharing the title of the other “old git”. Amanda Platell questioned in The Daily Mail, “What is there for us to be applauded? A 56-year-old man has finally fulfilled his wish of marrying his mistress?”）））
Britons have various reasons for their misgivings about the wedding, which is to take place April 8. Some feel that Charles, who cheated on his first wife, Diana, with Mrs. Parker Bowles, does not deserve to live happily ever after with the woman they regard as the agent of Diana's distress. Others simply object on general principle to Mrs. Parker Bowles, who has long been cast as the wicked stepmother in the ruined royal fairy tale.
Still others simply wish the royal family would go away and stop bothering everyone.
（（（Britons have many reasons to worry about the wedding to be held April 8. Some people think the relationship between Charles and Mrs. Parker shouldn’t be blessed for he was disloyal to Diana, his ex-wife, whose distress allegedly originated from his extra-martial affair with Mrs. Parker---the other woman. Others’ aversion to Mrs. Parker arises from their general belief as she has been portrayed as the wicked woman who sets eyes on that role after destroying the royal fairy tale. The rest are simply getting tired of this sort of event and wish to hear no more.）））
"Why should these meaningless people be embedded in our national imagination?" wrote Polly Toynbee, a columnist with The Guardian. "Ludicrous and grotesque for the wretched royal performers and their subjects alike, this is the least dignified of all state institutions."
（（（Polly Toynbee, a columnist with The Guardian was not stingy with his bitter remarks, “Why should we let these people be the focus of our attention and go all the way to speculate everything that happened to them? This is weird and ridiculous with royal performers clowning around and their subjects being manic. This is completely undignified.”）））
At first the queen seemed almost giddy with joy, at least by her modest emotional standards. "We're very happy," her office said in a statement on the day the engagement was announced. But since then, the queen has appeared intent - if you believe the popular press - on controlling the wedding plans, even if it means overriding her son's wishes.
（（（In many tabloids, story goes like this: At the beginning the queen appeared overjoyed despite her modest way of expressing her feelings. “We’re very happy.” her office said in a statement released on the day the engagement was proclaimed. But soon after, the queen became fixated on the wedding plans, which might lead to trespass her son’s wishes. Only if you buy the story.）））
In normal family weddings, the role of older-generation wedding irritant is rightfully claimed by the mother of the bride, who exercises her natural-born duty to challenge everything from the size of the guest list to the color of the trim on the bridesmaids' sashes. But this is not a normal family, and the queen - who is to be host at the reception, at Windsor Castle - outranks anyone she feels like outranking.
（（（As in an ordinary family, the mother of the bride has every right to pick on everything including the number of the guests as well as the bridemaids’apparel. But here we have a royal family. Windsor Castle is the place and the queen, the most predominant figure, is the host at the reception.）））
According to Trevor Kavanagh, The Sun's political editor and a man as knowledgeable as anyone when it comes to these matters (which isn't saying a lot), Elizabeth has nixed Charles's idea of having a romantic reception at "dozens of intimate candlelit round tables." Instead, The Sun reported, she wants a muted, stuffy dinner at "one long, formal rectangular table."
（（（“She snuffed out Charles’s plan of giving a romantic candlelit reception dinner and decided to replace it with a silent boring one. The table as she emphasized, should be long, formal and rectangular.” wrote The Sun’s political editor Trevor Kavanagh, a man who is quite an expert in these matters.）））
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Let me try a try.
作者(Author)：Last Hermit - 2005/02/19 02:30:03
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In a country that can argue endlessly about such royal minutiae as whether it is appropriate for the queen to keep her breakfast cereal in plastic containers, a backlash against the second marriage of Charles, the Prince of Wales, is well under way.
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In the country, such royal minutiae could be endlessly discussed as whether it is appropriate for the queen to keep her breakfast cereal in plastic containers. Presently, there's a heated debate on the second marriage of Charles, the Prince of Wales.
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Meunique
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Jenny笔头功夫了得呀！但是有些地方有添油加醋之嫌。
作者(Author)：潇潇 - 2005/02/19 04:54:45
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Paraphrase时尽量不要保留长的quotation。
paraphrase means
to express someone else's ideas in your own language without changing the original meaning.
Links you might find helpful:
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/print/research/r_paraphr.html
http://writing.colostate.edu/references/sources/working/pop8d.cfm
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To xiao xiao
作者(Author)：jennylearnstowalk - 2005/02/20 08:28:43
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I meant to make it a bit snappy, but obviously it didn’t work out. I know wordiness can ruin a piece of good work. Somehow, I can’t help rambling on even when I write in Chinese. This is really annoying .I hope such kind of paraphrase exercises can help me rid of the bad habit. I understand to write well has never been easy. Even if I get everything right-----exact words, correct grammar---- I still feel as if I am walking on artificial legs. I just don’t feel all right.
Thanks for the info, but I can’t get connected to the sites.
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字数多可以赚多点稿费嘛 @___@
作者(Author)：潇潇 - 2005/02/20 09:17:30
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But you must also know "Less is more." and "Brevity is the essence of wit.":)
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/print/research/r_paraphr.html
A paraphrase is...
your own rendition of essential information and ideas expressed by someone else, presented in a new form.
one legitimate way (when accompanied by accurate documentation) to borrow from a source.
a more detailed restatement than a summary, which focuses concisely on a single main idea.
Paraphrasing is a valuable skill because...
it is better than quoting information from an undistinguished passage.
it helps you control the temptation to quote too much.
the mental process required for successful paraphrasing helps you to grasp the full meaning of the original.
6 Steps to Effective Paraphrasing
1. Reread the original passage until you understand its full meaning.
2. Set the original aside, and write your paraphrase on a note card.
3. Jot down a few words below your paraphrase to remind you later how you envision using this material. At the top of the note card, write a key word or phrase to indicate the subject of your paraphrase.
4. Check your rendition with the original to make sure that your version accurately expresses all the essential information in a new form.
5. Use quotation marks to identify any unique term or phraseology you have borrowed exactly from the source.
6. Record the source (including the page) on your note card so that you can credit it easily if you decide to incorporate the material into your paper.
Some examples to compare
The original passage:
Students frequently overuse direct quotation in taking notes, and as a result they overuse quotations in the final [research] paper. Probably only about 10% of your final manuscript should appear as directly quoted matter. Therefore, you should strive to limit the amount of exact transcribing of source materials while taking notes. Lester, James D. Writing Research Papers. 2nd ed. (1976): 46-47.
A legitimate paraphrase:
In research papers students often quote excessively, failing to keep quoted material down to a desirable level. Since the problem usually originates during note taking, it is essential to minimize the material recorded verbatim (Lester 46-47).
An acceptable summary:
Students should take just a few notes in direct quotation from sources to help minimize the amount of quoted material in a research paper (Lester 46-47).
A plagiarized version:
Students often use too many direct quotations when they take notes, resulting in too many of them in the final research paper. In fact, probably only about 10% of the final copy should consist of directly quoted material. So it is important to limit the amount of source material copied while taking notes.
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Paraphrasing Accurately
It is particularly important when paraphrasing to be sure that you do not distort the meaning of the original statement. The wording you choose must convey the same idea to your reader that the original language would have. Thus, effective paraphrasing requires careful attention to the nuances of a word's meaning. Accurate paraphrasing will indicate to your readers that you are respectful of the source material, understand its meaning, and are conducting honest, reputable scholarship. Inaccurate paraphrasing may lead at best to the impression you do not understand the original statement, and at worst to charges that you are trying to manipulate the original passage's meaning to fit your own purposes.
Using Your Own Words
You must be careful as you paraphrase that you are not using wording that is too close to that of the original source material. Wording that is too close can lead to the impression you are plagiarizing the work of the source's author.
Definition of Plagiarism
How to Avoid Paraphrasing Too Closely
Example of Paraphrasing that is Too Close to Original Wording vs. Paraphrasing that Avoids Plagiarism
Plagiarism
Plagiarism is using the words, ideas or facts from a source without giving proper credit to the source for the information and wording. As paraphrases are assumed to be your own wording, if your phrasing is too close to that of the original passage you are, in effect, taking the source's words without crediting them as such. Plagiarism will not only hurt your credibility as a writer; most academic institutions also have strict policies against it.
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Rewriting
作者(Author)：Yeti - 2005/02/19 20:14:36
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Whether it is paraphrasing or general rewriting (I don't quite know the subtle difference), the difficult part is in keeping it short. There is a tendency to become wordy just to avoid using the same words and phrases as the original.
I have to agree with 潇潇 about the difficulty in avoiding using the same direct quotes. It is tricky to find a way to say the same thing without keeping the same quote (such as in the "Old Gits" quotation.)
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I tried shortening your version a bit, and may have mess it up in certain places.
Here are the first three. If you find my suggestion remotely acceptable, I will try the other paragraphs as well.
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I A. In a country that can argue endlessly about such royal minutiae as whether it is appropriate for the queen to keep her breakfast cereal in plastic containers, a backlash against the second marriage of Charles, the Prince of Wales, is well under way.
I B.（（（Britain is a country where daily trifles of the royal family can be intriguing topics to its citizens; the one like whether it is appropriate for the queen to place her breakfast cereal in plastic containers can cause a marathon debate. A flood of criticism towards Prince Charles’ remarriage, as one might expect, is now sweeping across the country.）））
I C. ( I tried to change what you have as little as possible.)
{ Britain, a country where daily trifles of the royal family, such as whether the Queen should use plastic container to keep her breakfast cereal, is witnessing a growing tide of negative sentiment towards the remarriage of Charles, the Prince of Wales. }
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II A: Whether the couple will win acceptance with their subjects remains to be seen. But one thing is certain: for Charles, it will not be anything like the first time.
II B:（（（Will the altar-bound couple be accepted by the public? It is yet to be known. But one thing is for sure: For Charles, this time everything is so different.）））
II C: { The jury is still out on whether this union will be accepted by the Public. For Charles, there is little doubt that the pomp will not be anywhere near the first time.}
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III A:"Boring Old Gits to Wed" was how The Star announced the news last week- the other "old git" in the headline being Charles's fiancée, Camilla Parker Bowles. "What is there to celebrate?" asked Amanda Platell in The Daily Mail. "That a 56-year-old man has finally married his mistress?"
III B:（（（Last week, Charles’ decision was taunted as “Boring Old Gits to wed” in the headline of The Star, with his fiancée Camilla Parker Bowles sharing the title of the other “old git”. Amanda Platell questioned in The Daily Mail, “What is there for us to be applauded? A 56-year-old man has finally fulfilled his wish of marrying his mistress?”）））
III C: {Last week, Charles and Camilla were taunted as “Boring old Gits” in the headline of the Star, and Amanda Platell of the Daily Mail openly questioned the need for celebrating a 56-year-old man marrying his mistress.}
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To Yeti
作者(Author)：jennylearnstowalk - 2005/02/20 08:36:46
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Thank you for your reference version. It’s excellent. I wish I could read the rest of it if it’s not that inconvenient for you. “The jury is out” is the phrase I picked up only yesterday while watching a sort of blockbuster. Now I know the exact context I can fit it in. LOL There are loads of idioms and catchwords which are supposed to be the carrier of the culture thing. It bugs me a lot. I did attempt to devour the idioms listed form A to Z in certain websites, but I didn’t see it benefit me as some of the expressions are already cast off. I certainly don’t want my poor memory to be occupied by rubbish.
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The one with the quotes...
作者(Author)：Yeti - 2005/02/20 18:06:30
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The ones with the quotes cannot be rewritten as a quote unless they are the exact words of the one being quoted. You have a choice of either quoting them as is or rephrasing them as "said that...."
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Let me do the easy one (the 4th paragraph) first and give the harder one (the 5th paragraph) more thought.
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IV A:
Britons have various reasons for their misgivings about the wedding, which is to take place April 8. Some feel that Charles, who cheated on his first wife, Diana, with Mrs. Parker Bowles, does not deserve to live happily ever after with the woman they regard as the agent of Diana's distress. Others simply object on general principle to Mrs. Parker Bowles, who has long been cast as the wicked stepmother in the ruined royal fairy tale.
Still others simply wish the royal family would go away and stop bothering everyone.
IV C:
Britain is abounded with uneasiness about the April 8th wedding. Should Charles the adulterer be blessed with matrimonial bliss? Or, as a matter of principle, Camilla, the royal home wrecker, should never get her wish. Others have had enough of the royal family and wish they would just fade away.
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(Please note: I am sure I made lots of grammatical mistakes. Consider this only as a second opinion.)
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skipping P5 temporarily, here is 6.
作者(Author)：Yeti - 2005/02/20 20:43:40
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I am having problem with P5, so here is P6. I change your "only if you buy the story" to "rumor has it." I do not know if that is just as good or something has been lost because of the change.
6: In many tabloids, an overjoyed queen was quoted in an immediate press release as saying: “We’re very happy.” Rumors has it that she is out to wrestle the control of the wedding plans from ( the hands of) her son.
(I am going to watch TV "Return of the Mommy II" or something like that. I will work on the rest later.)
(Don't forget, mine is only a second opinion. I don't want my Nemesis come crashing through my door. Hee...hee.. some people here know exactly what I mean.)
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More...
作者(Author)：Yeti - 2005/02/20 23:09:01
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Re: #5. I read through the reference provided by xiao-xiao and cannot find any guidance to what to do when a direct quote is involved. Let me say my piece and you can shoot it down. I think there is no way around something like that. If you quote what Polly Toynbee said, it would have to be in her exact words. My feeling is that doing so would not constitute "plagiarism." Ten newspaper reporting on the same incidence will quote exactly the same line utter by Toynbee without running the risk of being considered as having plagiarism.
The only way around that is not to quote, but write something such as " Toynbee of the Gurdian considered them as bores..."
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In 7, I think the idea of "outranks anyone she feels like outranking" may be expressed as "can override anyone’s decision as she so pleases."
In 8 , I love your use of "snuffed out." I wonder if we can replace the "silent" with either low key or subdued.
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Here is something I worked on, more like a paraphrase of your paraphrase. See if you find anything of merit in it.
5. (I avoid using any direct quote until I got to the very end)
The Guardian columnist, Polly Tonybee, questioned about why Britons should be captivated by such frivolous bores , criticized them for the absurdity of their action and branded the royal family as : “ the least dignified of all state institutions”
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7: Unlike the mother of a bride in a normal/ordinary family who has the prerogative of determining whom to invite and what the bridal party should wear, the Queen, hostess of the reception at Windsor Castle, can override anyone’s decision as she so pleases. (I have a feeling I have certain grammatical inconsistencies somewhere in there.)
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For #8, as mentioned above, I would replace the "decided to replace...silent..." with "...planned on having a low key/subdued traditional long table dinner. "
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To Yeti
作者(Author)：jennylearnstowalk - 2005/02/20 08:39:18
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Thank you for your reference version. It’s excellent. I wish I could read the rest of it if it’s not that inconvenient for you. “The jury is out” is the phrase I picked up only yesterday while watching a sort of blockbuster. Now I know the exact context I can fit it in. LOL There are loads of idioms and catchwords which are supposed to be the carrier of the culture thing. It bugs me a lot. I did attempt to devour the idioms listed form A to Z in certain websites, but I didn’t see it benefit me as some of the expressions are already cast off. I certainly don’t want my poor memory to be occupied by rubbish.
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Rewriting/Paraphrasing is an important writing practice tool.
作者(Author)：Yeti - 2005/02/21 00:14:12
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You (you,general reference) should also recommend your students to do likewise.
(The following is an unpaid advertisement :-) :-) )
For whatever it's worth, here is a short article on the topic writen by a retired English teacher (in China), Joylu60:
http://www.rainlane.com/dispbbs.asp?BoardID=11&ID=11183
Yours truly also recommended such a practice not only to seasoned writer such as you, but anyone who wants to start writing and does not know where to begin.
http://www.rainlane.com/dispbbs.asp?boardid=8&id=10890
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